Power

In my Barcelona apartment, in the breakfast nook off the kitchen, I sat and started every day with coffee and contemplation. Before I took on this great Spanish city by sea, I’d look out the windows and think about my upcoming day, my upcoming life.

One morning as I sipped my coffee, a picture frame with a quote caught my attention. I’d been thinking about similar themes and messages in my own life since arriving in Europe, so reading the following quotation struck a serious nerve and has stayed with me since.

From a speech by Nelson Mandela, written by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

“There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

On the way down

Great Gaudi!

In Between

Sliver of a city

Art Deco AbFab

My Traveling Buddies

The City Of Light

Coming to Paris is something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. It’s one of those cities that’s been on my cultural radar for many years, but up until a few months ago, it never seemed like feasible possibility.

The fact is, Paris intimidated me. The French have long had a reputation for being rude, stuck up and unfriendly to Americans, and not to mention all of their admirable qualities (stylish, sophisticated, well cultured) that scared me too! All that rolled up into one large croissant of a society is a lot to take in when you’re a single man just stopping over for a friendly visit to say bonjour!

But there comes a time in your life’s journey when you realize your fears are completely irrational, and instead of allowing those thoughts to rule actions, you man up and own your power!

So I came to Paris to be embrace that fear and to be tested outside my boundaries. I came to Paris because my soul cried out for an adventure where no one would be around to catch me if (when?) I fell. I came to Paris to grow and evolve and blossom into my fully, fabulous self.

Looking back, I don’t know how I made it in one piece. The city is massive and huge and bigger than any place I’ve been to before (or maybe it seemed bigger because I was here by myself?). Not even all the studying I did before hand could have prepared me for my grand entrance on Le Metro, but with the grace of God’s fortune (and several connecting trains later), I found my home away from home with everything in tow.

When the jet lag wore off and I began living on Parisian time, I woke up in a world filled with light. A colorful, vibrant, awakened city filled with artists and dreamers who work with bourgeois fashionistas and business men who live alongside street people and sophisticated yuppies who all live together in adjoining communities that make up a beautifully, harmonious collective whole.

It’s a place where there is an appreciation for the beauty in life and the way of life – food, culture, art, fashion, society, liberty, happiness – and it’s celebrated everyday while walking down the street clutching a warm baguette or lunching with friends on a busy boulevard or riding the metro home while reading the daily news.

I came here with the expectations of visiting of city that was out of my league. Fun to visit, admire and experience, but untouchable and inaccessible. But what Paris has given me is a free pass on how to dream, how to live, how to be exactly who I am and to love every piece of that.

Like a scene straight out of Amelie, my Parisian experience has showed me that it’s OK to wear red socks with blue pants and purple sneakers because if that’s who I am, then that’s my gift back to this beautiful world in which we live.

Then and Now

It was the Spring of 2000 and the first time I ever applied for a passport. I left the country as a youngster, but never across international borders requiring legal documentation. And, frankly, the trip I had planned to Mexico City and Oaxaca didn’t officially require one, but upon my instructor’s recommendation, I scrambled to get my first just in case.

The one hour photo was located up the street from my dorm, so I threw on whatever clean clothes I could find and styled my hair quickly without giving it a second opinion.

When I sat down to have this picture taken, I probably thought my smile and hairdo looked just fine. Had I known how many funny reactions that crazy smile and gelled up hair were to receive (from people around the world, no less) I may have spent a little more time getting ready that morning. (And what’s with the bug eyes?!)

In April my first passport, the one that granted me access to Greece, Ireland, Germany, Jamaica, Turkey, Italy, and the Czech Republic, officially expired, ending an era and a decade.

So just yesterday, amidst a laundry list of errands I was scrambling to finish before starting a new job, I sat down for my new portrait. When I pulled into the Rite-Aid parking lot and prepped myself for my close up, even my unshaven face and grubby t-shirt weren’t good enough excuses to delay this task once more. (10 years later and not much has changed?)

Click, click.

When I got home and examined the pictures, I couldn’t help but notice the physical changes. Seeing these differences struck a chord. Even though I know I’ve grown up and become an “adult”, I never saw myself as being so young in the first picture, nor did I see myself as being so orange like I am in the second picture!

It’s not often that I take self portraits, especially ones that represent and capture a specific (and identical?) moment in time. Stripped down against a white background and no distractions, passport photos reveal the true you.

I don’t have any immediate plans to leave the country, but I hope this decade and my new passport will see me travel to more countries and exotic places than this last one. And when I look back on this picture (and when I renew it again in 10 years) I hope that I have a good laugh about my tan skin and flimsy t-shirt.

Bon voyage!

Foilage

To the ground it falls, though still crispy and crunchy beneath walking feet.

Damp and wet, the trails are much cooler than a week ago. It’s confusing in Los Angeles. Long sleeves? Shorts?

Sometimes we don’t know until we step out the front door what we’re supposed to do. And that’s just the weather.